Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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