I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
