So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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