On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
