You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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