Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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