What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
