every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
