going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
