Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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