can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
ugly people sure do ruin things
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
