I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
