Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
