i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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