question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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