You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize