it wasn't lemon gatorade
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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