so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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