You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize