I should be sponsored by Trojan
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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