i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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