Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
