Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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