Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
