Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
