I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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