I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
