I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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