ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
