VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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