I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
