I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
