That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
