$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
