She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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