So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
