i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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