were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
it's great music for shaving your balls
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
