It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize