I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
