Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
