420 ftw
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
