How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
