i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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