that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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