..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I see more hoeing in ur future
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