Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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