It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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