his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
