I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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