Dual....:-)
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
