its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
