It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
