Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
