He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You can't motorboat a personality
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
