I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
