Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
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