So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
