He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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